Hi all Its Friday Giggle time
A teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Kathy said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the pickup when we hit a bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made
a mess." "And what's the moral of the story?" asked the teacher. "Don't put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Lucy raised a hand and said, "Our family are farmers, too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. We had a dozen eggs one time, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks and the moral to this story is, don't count your chickens until they're hatched."
"That was a fine story Lucy.
Johnny, do you have a story to share?"
"Yes, ma'am! My daddy told me this story about my Aunt Marge. She was a flight engineer during Desert Storm and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a bottle of whiskey, a machine gun and a Machete. So .. she drank the whiskey on the way down so it wouldn't break. Then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed 70 of them with the machine gun until it ran out of bullets! Then she killed 20 more with the machete till the blade broke; then she killed the last 10 with her bare hands."
"Good heavens," said the horrified teacher,
"what kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story?"
"Stay away from Aunt Marge when she's been drinking."
Have a good week end
Regards
Tim
Friday, 19 February 2010
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
वहत इस गोइंग ओं विथ थिस country
Interest rates are rising
Do you think this might have something to do with it
I thought this should be passed to as many people as possible.
When VAT was temporarily reduced to 15%, the Chancellor added 2% duty to fuel to offset the reduction in tax collected from motorists. Now that VAT has been increased to 17.5% again this hidden tax has not been removed - hence recent rises in your fuel costs. Sign the petition at the link below to have this stealth tax removed!
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/DutyReduction/
Please pass this on to your friends - the more the merrier.
Also used car prices have risen by a large percentage due to the scrapage scheme, another reason for the increase.
And the final blow yes the Banks who started this recession are on a high nice big bonus due to nice big profits, who paid the price for this lot?
Do you think this might have something to do with it
I thought this should be passed to as many people as possible.
When VAT was temporarily reduced to 15%, the Chancellor added 2% duty to fuel to offset the reduction in tax collected from motorists. Now that VAT has been increased to 17.5% again this hidden tax has not been removed - hence recent rises in your fuel costs. Sign the petition at the link below to have this stealth tax removed!
http://petitions.number10.gov.uk/DutyReduction/
Please pass this on to your friends - the more the merrier.
Also used car prices have risen by a large percentage due to the scrapage scheme, another reason for the increase.
And the final blow yes the Banks who started this recession are on a high nice big bonus due to nice big profits, who paid the price for this lot?
Monday, 15 February 2010
vote
Motor Codes launches best garage competition
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Motor Codes, the government backed regulatory body for the motor industry, has launched a competition to find the best UK service and repair garages.
Garage survey results
It coincides with the release of the results of a Motor Codes survey today which found half or 14 million motorists believe they have been "ripped off" by garages. The Golden Garage Competition is intended to champion garages while also raising the profile of Motor Codes in Britain, get more garages on its books and more consumers to use its website.
Garages voted top in their region can expect prizes worth £1,000. The Golden Garage national winner, picked from the regional shortlist by an expert panel of judges will receive prizes worth over £5,000.
Public and all garages can follow the competition at Golden Garages and on Twitter.
"The service and repair sector historically has a bad reputation when it comes to cost," said Chris Mason, Motor Codes director
GO TO http://www.goldengarages.co.uk/
and Vote for P D Motors
Ineed your Vote
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Motor Codes, the government backed regulatory body for the motor industry, has launched a competition to find the best UK service and repair garages.
Garage survey results
It coincides with the release of the results of a Motor Codes survey today which found half or 14 million motorists believe they have been "ripped off" by garages. The Golden Garage Competition is intended to champion garages while also raising the profile of Motor Codes in Britain, get more garages on its books and more consumers to use its website.
Garages voted top in their region can expect prizes worth £1,000. The Golden Garage national winner, picked from the regional shortlist by an expert panel of judges will receive prizes worth over £5,000.
Public and all garages can follow the competition at Golden Garages and on Twitter.
"The service and repair sector historically has a bad reputation when it comes to cost," said Chris Mason, Motor Codes director
GO TO http://www.goldengarages.co.uk/
and Vote for P D Motors
Ineed your Vote
Friday, 12 February 2010
फ्रिदय Giggle
A man met a beautiful lady and he decided that he wanted to marry her right away. She said, "But we don't know anything about each other." He said, "That's alright. We'll learn about each other as we go along."
She consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the ten-meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
She got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" No," she said. "I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal."
She consented, and they were married, and went on a honeymoon to a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the ten-meter board and did a two and a half tuck gainer. This was followed by three rotations in jackknife position, where he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.
After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel. She said, "That was incredible!" He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about ourselves as we went along."
She got up, jumped in the pool, and started doing laps. After about thirty laps, she climbed back out and lay down on her towel hardly out of breath.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?" No," she said. "I was a hooker in Venice and I worked both sides of the canal."
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Toyota confirms Prius brakes recall in the UK
Toyota has launched a global recall on the latest generation Prius to rectify a software problem in the anti-lock braking system.
This follows last week's high profile accelerator recall of 180,000 models in the UK.
Third generation
The Prius recall will apply to all third generation models built before 27 January 2010 and will include 8,500 models in the UK.
The brand said no accidents linked to this issue have been reported in Europe and the recall would not apply to Lexus hybrid models.
The recall is being taken in response to reports of what Toyota termed "inconsistent brake feel during slow and steady braking on bumpy or slick road surfaces when the ABS is actuated."
ABS software upgrade
Toyota dealers and authorised repairers will carry out an ABS software upgrade on the affected cars in a job which will take around 40 minutes.
Toyota said it will write individually to every owner in the next few days having obtained their contact details from the DVLA.
"In the meantime, the cars are safe to drive. At no time are drivers without brakes. Toyota GB guarantees to every customer its utmost attention to making this upgrade as quickly and efficiently as possible," said a company statement.
This follows last week's high profile accelerator recall of 180,000 models in the UK.
Third generation
The Prius recall will apply to all third generation models built before 27 January 2010 and will include 8,500 models in the UK.
The brand said no accidents linked to this issue have been reported in Europe and the recall would not apply to Lexus hybrid models.
The recall is being taken in response to reports of what Toyota termed "inconsistent brake feel during slow and steady braking on bumpy or slick road surfaces when the ABS is actuated."
ABS software upgrade
Toyota dealers and authorised repairers will carry out an ABS software upgrade on the affected cars in a job which will take around 40 minutes.
Toyota said it will write individually to every owner in the next few days having obtained their contact details from the DVLA.
"In the meantime, the cars are safe to drive. At no time are drivers without brakes. Toyota GB guarantees to every customer its utmost attention to making this upgrade as quickly and efficiently as possible," said a company statement.
टोयोटा रेकाल्ल toyota
Toyota service centres will operate extended opening hours to carry out accelerator pedal modification work on 180,865 recalled vehicles.
The work, which takes less than 30 minutes to complete, starts today across 206 Toyota dealerships and authorised repairers.
Toyota service centres have also received the software update for the Prius brake system which was the subject of a recall yesterday (9 February).
Extended hours
"Toyota service centres will be working extended hours and weekends. As a consequence, they have the combined capacity to repair 6,000 vehicles per day. By Friday we will have received 100,000 repair parts from Japan. We have implemented the recall as quickly as possible," said Steve Settle, Toyota's UK customer services director.
Toyota will prioritise those customers whose cars have been identified as having the fault via the Toyota customer helpline or directly with centres.
The work, which takes less than 30 minutes to complete, starts today across 206 Toyota dealerships and authorised repairers.
Toyota service centres have also received the software update for the Prius brake system which was the subject of a recall yesterday (9 February).
Extended hours
"Toyota service centres will be working extended hours and weekends. As a consequence, they have the combined capacity to repair 6,000 vehicles per day. By Friday we will have received 100,000 repair parts from Japan. We have implemented the recall as quickly as possible," said Steve Settle, Toyota's UK customer services director.
Toyota will prioritise those customers whose cars have been identified as having the fault via the Toyota customer helpline or directly with centres.
Friday, 5 February 2010
प्रोब्लेम्स अत toyota
Toyota GB commercial director Jon Williams has addressed the UK over its recall problems in a Youtube video on Toyota’s UK blog.
Toyota’s reputation and unique selling point rests on the fact its models have a high-build quality and approximately 1.8 million vehicles across Europe have to be returned to dealerships as a result of problems with the accelerator pedal.
The Japanese brand's sales were down by 12.4% in the UK in January but the pedal recall would have happened too late in the month to have had a substantial effect.
Toyota dealers are likely to face a tough couple of months ahead as the UK's national press highlights the recall to consumers each day.
- Advertisement -
The repairs to rectify the recall will take 30 minutes and will be carried out free of charge. Toyota is working with dealers to negotiate extended opening hours to deal with the 180,000 vehicles which are to be recalled in the UK.
Williams said: "There’s nothing more important to us than safety. I drive a Toyota, my family and friends drive Toyotas and I wouldn’t allow my loved ones to drive our cars if I didn’t believe they were safe.
“At Toyota we have built our reputation on quality, durability, reliability and most importantly trust. We want to rebuild that trust will our customers by working through this issue.”
The following advice is being given to drivers:
In the event that a driver experiences an accelerator pedal that sticks in a partial open throttle position or returns slowly to idle position, the vehicle can be controlled with firm and steady application of the brakes.
The brakes should not be pumped repeatedly because it could deplete vacuum assist, requiring stronger brake pedal pressure.
The vehicle should be driven to the nearest safe location, the engine shut off and a Toyota retailer or road-side assistance should be contacted.
Toyota says it doesn't know of any accidents caused by the problem.
The recall of eight Toyota models in Europe was announced on January 28. The involved models in the UK include:
iQ
Aygo
Yaris
Auris
Corolla
Avensis
Verso
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
of printing Toyota press releases.
I have customers screaming at me for advice. Toyota's share price is 17% down.
WTF is going on? Toyota's handling of this stinks. It is still denying electrical acceleration issues and is being seen as misleading the public. Now there seems to be ANOTHER Prius brake issue going on. This is a massive crisis for the brand. The head of Toyota is invisible, having simply made a 20 second comment off the cuff at Davos.
The public should not have the Commercial Director (who I am sure is sincere) making a YouTube vid, but it should be the BOSS!
How long have Toyota known about this problem? Reports in America allege it goes back to 2002!
Toyota’s reputation and unique selling point rests on the fact its models have a high-build quality and approximately 1.8 million vehicles across Europe have to be returned to dealerships as a result of problems with the accelerator pedal.
The Japanese brand's sales were down by 12.4% in the UK in January but the pedal recall would have happened too late in the month to have had a substantial effect.
Toyota dealers are likely to face a tough couple of months ahead as the UK's national press highlights the recall to consumers each day.
- Advertisement -
The repairs to rectify the recall will take 30 minutes and will be carried out free of charge. Toyota is working with dealers to negotiate extended opening hours to deal with the 180,000 vehicles which are to be recalled in the UK.
Williams said: "There’s nothing more important to us than safety. I drive a Toyota, my family and friends drive Toyotas and I wouldn’t allow my loved ones to drive our cars if I didn’t believe they were safe.
“At Toyota we have built our reputation on quality, durability, reliability and most importantly trust. We want to rebuild that trust will our customers by working through this issue.”
The following advice is being given to drivers:
In the event that a driver experiences an accelerator pedal that sticks in a partial open throttle position or returns slowly to idle position, the vehicle can be controlled with firm and steady application of the brakes.
The brakes should not be pumped repeatedly because it could deplete vacuum assist, requiring stronger brake pedal pressure.
The vehicle should be driven to the nearest safe location, the engine shut off and a Toyota retailer or road-side assistance should be contacted.
Toyota says it doesn't know of any accidents caused by the problem.
The recall of eight Toyota models in Europe was announced on January 28. The involved models in the UK include:
iQ
Aygo
Yaris
Auris
Corolla
Avensis
Verso
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
of printing Toyota press releases.
I have customers screaming at me for advice. Toyota's share price is 17% down.
WTF is going on? Toyota's handling of this stinks. It is still denying electrical acceleration issues and is being seen as misleading the public. Now there seems to be ANOTHER Prius brake issue going on. This is a massive crisis for the brand. The head of Toyota is invisible, having simply made a 20 second comment off the cuff at Davos.
The public should not have the Commercial Director (who I am sure is sincere) making a YouTube vid, but it should be the BOSS!
How long have Toyota known about this problem? Reports in America allege it goes back to 2002!
कार साल्स
January new car registrations rose by 29.8% to 145,479 units despite the return to the 17.5% rate for VAT and a cold snap which ground the country to a halt.
The scrappage scheme continued to boost the market accounting for 17.8% of registrations and the news that the scheme will be continuing until the end of March will allow dealers to get those final sales in.
Paul Everitt, SMMT chief executive, said: "The 29.8% increase in January new car registrations provides a better than expected start to 2010 for the UK motor industry.
"Scrappage continues to lift demand successfully and today’s announcement of a continuation of the scheme to the end of March will allow the maximum number of people to benefit from the budget that’s still available.
"Industry expects another difficult year with the availability of finance, consumer confidence and sustaining demand post-scrappage, key to performance in the second half of the year, but signs of recovery in the fleet and business sectors are encouraging."
The scrappage scheme continued to boost the market accounting for 17.8% of registrations and the news that the scheme will be continuing until the end of March will allow dealers to get those final sales in.
Paul Everitt, SMMT chief executive, said: "The 29.8% increase in January new car registrations provides a better than expected start to 2010 for the UK motor industry.
"Scrappage continues to lift demand successfully and today’s announcement of a continuation of the scheme to the end of March will allow the maximum number of people to benefit from the budget that’s still available.
"Industry expects another difficult year with the availability of finance, consumer confidence and sustaining demand post-scrappage, key to performance in the second half of the year, but signs of recovery in the fleet and business sectors are encouraging."
फ्रिदय Giggle
Hi all Its Friday Giggle time
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
' Same for me,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say....
Have a good week end
Regards
Tim
P D Motors (Billingshurst) Limited
Unit E4 Gillmans Ind Est
Natts lane
Billingshurst
West Sussex
RH14 9EZ
Tel 01403 786211
Fax 01403 780546
Email tim.clarke@pdmotors.co.uk
Web www.pdmotors.co.uk
An Aussie truckie walks into an outback cafe with a full-grown emu behind him.
The waitress asks them for their orders.
The truckie says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke,' and turns to the emu, 'What's yours?'
'Sounds great, I'll have the same,' says the emu.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be $9.40 please,' and he reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change and pays.
The next day, the man and the emu come again and he says, 'A hamburger, chips and a coke.'
The emu says, ' Sounds great, I'll have the same.'
Again the truckie reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the waitress.
'No, it's Friday night, so I'll have a steak, baked potato and a salad,' says the man..
' Same for me,' says the emu.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me mate, how do you manage to always pull the exact change from your pocket every time?'
'Well, love' says the truckie, 'a few years ago, I was cleaning out the back shed, and found an old lamp. When I cleaned it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes.
My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want, for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there.' says the man.
Still curious the waitress asks, 'What's with the bloody emu?'
The truckie pauses, sighs, and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall bird with a big arse and long legs, who agrees with everything I say....
Have a good week end
Regards
Tim
P D Motors (Billingshurst) Limited
Unit E4 Gillmans Ind Est
Natts lane
Billingshurst
West Sussex
RH14 9EZ
Tel 01403 786211
Fax 01403 780546
Email tim.clarke@pdmotors.co.uk
Web www.pdmotors.co.uk
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